A Brief Reflection On the Power of Affirmation
It is both surprising and delightful to be, just now, in a place of being the recipient of consistent and genuine affirmation from a significant number of sources. And it is enlightening to observe the impact that this approbation has had, and continues to have, on my heart and mind. You know, the Bible says in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Having experienced both the death and the life that are the fruit of what has been repeatedly spoken to me, I can attest to the truth of that passage.
Finding myself in environments and relationships where I endured years—actually decades—of negative expectations, judgment of my values and actions, and contempt for my opinions and ideas, left me ineluctably demotivated, utterly depleted emotionally, and with a horribly poor self-image. The obvious reason for this was that, no matter what I did or how hard I tried, nothing was ever considered good enough. Hence, I came to the place where I could not see the point in trying any more. So I, pretty much, just withdrew within myself, said as little as possible, and tried to avoid conflict. What I did not do, as I had no hope of succeeding, was to try to change—to try to grow or evolve or pursue wholeness. Those notions seemed like luxuries reserved for those who were not just trying to survive as I was.
But recently, as I said, I have begun to experience an amazingly great amount of approbation from numerous contexts and persons. I have gotten responses to my thoughts and actions that include having my gifts and talents lauded, my interactions with others called a blessing, my ideas and opinions consistently judged to be both valuable and insightful, and my very person treated as being intriguing and both worth getting to know and worthy of love.
So what effect has this had on me? Has it made me complacent or prideful—inclined to rest on my laurels? Quite the contrary. It has motivated me to want to be better. It has made me want to do more than just survive. It has empowered me to open myself up in relationships with others and to endeavor to break free of strongholds in my life, to grow in my faith, gifting and intimacy with God, to hone my intellect and pursue emotional wholeness.
So to all of you wonderfully affirming people in my life right now, I want to thank you (and not in some glib or flippant way, but with the deepest and sincerest gratitude) for this transforming effect you are having on my life. I love you all.
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